****- Masturbating On A Plastic Beach

A Serious Introspection Into Masturbation

I was thinking recently about the ethics of pleasuring yourself to video games. Wait, I’m serious about this. Now I’m not talking about whether it’s okay or not to achieve sexual gratification from digital characters, that’s another discussion for another time. What I want to discuss is the motivations and stories behind the video game imagery people may be achieving sexual gratification from at this very moment.

There are two instances in particular that made me think of this issue. Both come from the recent Playstation 3 release Heavy Rain. The first involves newspaper reporter Madison Paige and nightclub owner Paco Mendes. In this scene Madison is forced to remove her clothing in front of Paco at gunpoint. It is possible to have Madison strip down to just a pair of lacy underwear before Madison smashes Paco’s head with a vase. You don’t have to have Madison wearing just lacy underwear to trigger the end of the scene but the possibility is there nonetheless.

Madison is the kind of woman that has an alluring personality and her physical appearance adds to that allure. I’m willing to admit that after finishing Heavy Rain I went back to that scene, caused Madison to remove more of her clothing than I had on my original playthrough, and achieved sexual gratification from the sight of Madison Paige in just her lacy underwear. Upon reflection, I feel a certain amount of shame from having done this. This shame was derived from the reason why Madison was removing her clothing, the threat of being shot and killed. Madison was kept in this sexual situation against her will, a situation that is considered to be wrong in our moral society. Sure Miss Paige got herself out of that situation without any harm coming to her, but the situation she was in before she extricated herself is what drove my sexual desire.

The second instance in Heavy Rain that made me think of this issue involves the previously mentioned Madison Paige and architect Ethan Mars. Mr. Mars is going through the trials he feels are necessary to free his son, Shawn, from the hands of the Origami Killer. The scene in question takes place after Ethan completes one of these trials, which involved killing a drug dealer. Ethan has an emotional breakdown and in this moment Madison shows up to comfort him. In this scene, playing as Ethan, you are given the choice to kiss Madison. This kiss eventually leads to Ethan and Madison having sex.

The sex scene between Ethan and Madison is racy and contains nudity, however this was something I was not aware of when I first played through Heavy Rain. I was not even aware that this sex scene existed untill I listened to an episode of Electric Sistahood and heard them talking about it. This is because at the moment where you can choose whether or not to kiss Madison I chose not to. This is the source of my second feeling of conflict.

At this point of the game in question, Ethan is still married to his wife Grace. They are separated and contemplating divorce but are still married. There also still appears to be an emotional connection between Ethan and Grace and a certain level of trust. In my mind Ethan kissing Madison would have betrayed that trust and made for a lesser story. That is why I made that decision, my desire for a great story. While I did go back and view the sex scene between Ethan and Madison after my initial playthrough I still feel that Ethan betraying Grace and having sex with Madison detracts from the story.

So there are the reasons why I feel the ethics of pleasuring yourself to video games may be in question: The motivation of the characters in these erotic scenes and the stories the characters are engaged in. In reviewing the arguments I have just made I realize these arguments can be used to question the ethics of using nearly all erotic media to achieve sexual gratification. Whenever I go shopping for hentai I have to be certain that I’m not buying one of the many rape porn titles that are out there. Downloading pictures online is rife with peril as the image in question may secretly be child pornography. Finally, finding eroticism in Hollywood movies may or may not be ethical given the drives and motivations of the directors, producers, and actors involved, not to mention the characters they’re making a movie about.

Debates over ethics are a delicate subjects and is highly dependent on your moral structure, the moral structure of the place you live in, and the knowledge both parties have about the situation at hand. Perhaps you are the type of person who can put ethics aside and get your rocks off at any erotic or semi-erotic situation. However, if you can put ethics aside, what does that say about you as a person?



Gorillaz- Plastic Beach First Impressions

Hunter Red is sitting in his office at the offices of the Redertainment Corporation Of America listening to some music when Robin Anderson pokes her head in.
Robin- Hello sexyperson.
Hunter- Hello othersexyperson.
R- Whatcha doing?
H- I’m listening to the new Gorillaz CD “Plastic Beach”.
R- What do you think of it?
H- I think I’m high?
Robin looks at Hunter oddly.
R- Excuse me?
H- I think I’m high. Listen to this.
Hunter turns up the music as Robin walks into Hunter’s office and sits down on one of the file cabinets.
H- “Plastic Beach” sounds like something you would listen to and enjoy while high. I’m listening to “Plastic Beach”, I’m enjoying “Plastic Beach”, I must be high.
R- Hunter, you’re out of your mind. I’m enjoying this CD and I’m completely sober.
H- But how do you know that?
R- Because the only drugs I’ve had this morning is my usual cup of coffee.
H- And the only drugs I’ve had is the half bottle of gin I found in my desk.
R- Hunter, maybe you aren’t high and you are genuinely enjoying the new CD from a beloved music group.
At that moment, Seifer Kinneas pokes his head into Hunter’s office. Seifer Kinneas is wearing a pink elephant costume.
Seifer- Hey Hunter, you gotta check this out. I got this bubble machine, and it’s fucking awesome!
Seifer leaves Hunter’s office. Both Hunter and Robin are sitting there stunned at what just happened.
Robin- Hunter?
Hunter- Yeah?
R- I think I’m high right now.
H- Me too sexyperson. You have those Dorito’s in your desk?
R- Yeah, assuming Seifer hasn’t gotten into them.
H- You wanna eat those while we polish off that bottle of Jack Daniel’s I have in my desk?
R- Sure.
Robin heads off for her desk as Hunter starts searching his desk for the Jack Daniel’s.
H- Robin, I’m out of Jack, but I do have a full bottle of Crown Royal and a funnel!

END SCENE

****- Randomly Generated Hardcore

That’s So Hardcore- Part 1

This week it was announced that Raven Symone, known for roles in The Cosby Show and Hanging With Mr. Cooper, will be leaving her show on the Disney Channel, That’s So Raven. Miss Symone said her decision to leave her show was driven by her desire to pursue more adult projects and to grow as an actress.

Despite losing its titular character, Disney has announced its intent to continue That’s So Raven in its current form. No details have been announced as to how this will happen, but an announcement is expected in the coming days.

Stay tuned...



Random Generation- The Long Version

The Final Fantasy games are what I cut my teeth on as a gamer, so I was very much looking forward to this game. Leveling in Final Fantasy XIII is done away with in favor of a new system of character development utilizing Crystariums. Overall, the game is good, not great, but is, at long last, the video game Final Fantasy fans have been waiting for. So far I’m liking this game but I was expecting something better from this game. So far I’m liking this game but I was expecting something better from this game. The Final Fantasy games are what I cut my teeth on as a gamer, so I was very much looking forward to this game. The Final Fantasy games are what I cut my teeth on as a gamer, so I was very much looking forward to this game. Leveling in Final Fantasy XIII is done away with in favor of a new system of character development utilizing Crystariums. The Final Fantasy games are what I cut my teeth on as a gamer, so I was very much looking forward to this game. I can’t tell you how many times while playing this game I’ve said, “Damn it Vanille, heal yourself!” The system itself isn’t bad I just wish I had more control over what my supporting characters, who I can’t control, did.

I can’t tell you how many times while playing this game I’ve said, “Damn it Vanille, heal yourself!” The Final Fantasy games are what I cut my teeth on as a gamer, so I was very much looking forward to this game. I’d give it a B. I’d give it a B. The Final Fantasy games are what I cut my teeth on as a gamer, so I was very much looking forward to this game. I’d give it a B. The system itself isn’t bad I just wish I had more control over what my supporting characters, who I can’t control, did. Leveling in Final Fantasy XIII is done away with in favor of a new system of character development utilizing Crystariums. I’d give it a B. The system itself isn’t bad I just wish I had more control over what my supporting characters, who I can’t control, did.

The system itself isn’t bad I just wish I had more control over what my supporting characters, who I can’t control, did. I’d give it a B. So far I’m liking this game but I was expecting something better from this game. The system itself isn’t bad I just wish I had more control over what my supporting characters, who I can’t control, did. I’d give it a B. So far I’m liking this game but I was expecting something better from this game. The system itself isn’t bad I just wish I had more control over what my supporting characters, who I can’t control, did. The Final Fantasy games are what I cut my teeth on as a gamer, so I was very much looking forward to this game. The Crystariums remind me of the Sphere Grid used in Final Fantasy X except the Crystariums affect every part of your character’s skill set, not just magic and abilities. Leveling in Final Fantasy XIII is done away with in favor of a new system of character development utilizing Crystariums.

Leveling in Final Fantasy XIII is done away with in favor of a new system of character development utilizing Crystariums. I’d give it a B. The Crystariums remind me of the Sphere Grid used in Final Fantasy X except the Crystariums affect every part of your character’s skill set, not just magic and abilities. I’d give it a B. I can’t tell you how many times while playing this game I’ve said, “Damn it Vanille, heal yourself!” As I write this I am playing Final Fantasy XIII. The Crystariums remind me of the Sphere Grid used in Final Fantasy X except the Crystariums affect every part of your character’s skill set, not just magic and abilities. So far I’m liking this game but I was expecting something better from this game. The Crystariums remind me of the Sphere Grid used in Final Fantasy X except the Crystariums affect every part of your character’s skill set, not just magic and abilities. Overall, the game is good, not great, but is, at long last, the video game Final Fantasy fans have been waiting for.

The system itself isn’t bad I just wish I had more control over what my supporting characters, who I can’t control, did. The system itself isn’t bad I just wish I had more control over what my supporting characters, who I can’t control, did. The Crystariums remind me of the Sphere Grid used in Final Fantasy X except the Crystariums affect every part of your character’s skill set, not just magic and abilities. The Crystariums remind me of the Sphere Grid used in Final Fantasy X except the Crystariums affect every part of your character’s skill set, not just magic and abilities. So far I’m liking this game but I was expecting something better from this game. The system itself isn’t bad I just wish I had more control over what my supporting characters, who I can’t control, did. As I write this I am playing Final Fantasy XIII. Leveling in Final Fantasy XIII is done away with in favor of a new system of character development utilizing Crystariums. So far I’m liking this game but I was expecting something better from this game. The Crystariums remind me of the Sphere Grid used in Final Fantasy X except the Crystariums affect every part of your character’s skill set, not just magic and abilities.

As I write this I am playing Final Fantasy XIII. I can’t tell you how many times while playing this game I’ve said, “Damn it Vanille, heal yourself!” I’d give it a B. I can’t tell you how many times while playing this game I’ve said, “Damn it Vanille, heal yourself!” Overall, the game is good, not great, but is, at long last, the video game Final Fantasy fans have been waiting for. The system itself isn’t bad I just wish I had more control over what my supporting characters, who I can’t control, did. The system itself isn’t bad I just wish I had more control over what my supporting characters, who I can’t control, did. The Crystariums remind me of the Sphere Grid used in Final Fantasy X except the Crystariums affect every part of your character’s skill set, not just magic and abilities. As I write this I am playing Final Fantasy XIII. As I write this I am playing Final Fantasy XIII.

I can’t tell you how many times while playing this game I’ve said, “Damn it Vanille, heal yourself!” As I write this I am playing Final Fantasy XIII. I’d give it a B. The Final Fantasy games are what I cut my teeth on as a gamer, so I was very much looking forward to this game. The system itself isn’t bad I just wish I had more control over what my supporting characters, who I can’t control, did. The Crystariums remind me of the Sphere Grid used in Final Fantasy X except the Crystariums affect every part of your character’s skill set, not just magic and abilities. As I write this I am playing Final Fantasy XIII. Leveling in Final Fantasy XIII is done away with in favor of a new system of character development utilizing Crystariums. As I write this I am playing Final Fantasy XIII. I can’t tell you how many times while playing this game I’ve said, “Damn it Vanille, heal yourself!”

As I write this I am playing Final Fantasy XIII. Overall, the game is good, not great, but is, at long last, the video game Final Fantasy fans have been waiting for. Leveling in Final Fantasy XIII is done away with in favor of a new system of character development utilizing Crystariums. As I write this I am playing Final Fantasy XIII. The Paradigm system that is utilized to determine which abilities the various characters use in battle sticks out in my mind as troubling.



That’s So Hardcore- Part 2

It is a typical day at Ralph W. Allred High School. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and all signs point to another wonderful day. In the hall, Annie and Bertie are talking by their lockers.
Bertie-
Annie, how did you spend your Spring Break?
Annie-
Bertie, it was the best! Me and my family went up to this old campground that my grandpa owns. We rode horses, went camping, and just had all sorts of fun together.
Bertie- Wow, that does sound like fun. I just stayed home and watched TV.
Annie- Why didn’t you come with us? I left you a message inviting you.
Bertie- Did you leave it with my brother Kerry?
Annie- Yes.
Bertie- That’s why I didn’t get it. My little brother is the worst at taking down messages.
Annie- No, I bet my brother’s worse.
The two laugh as does the studio audience.
Bertie- By the way, where’s Raven?
Annie- Raven said she’d be running late. She’s doing something different with her hair.
Bertie- Uh-oh, I wonder what that means.
The studio audience laughs.
Annie- Hey, there she is now.
Raven walks into the scene and the audience expresses complete shock at what they see. Then an announcer is heard saying-
Announcer- Please Note: The role of Raven, previously played by Raven Symone, will now be played by hardcore wrestling icon Raven.

Annie- Hi Raven.
Raven- Hello you underdeveloped lemmings of the conformist machine.
Bertie- Raven, is that a new haircut?
Raven- Your question is an insult to my vast intelligence as well as your miniscule intelligence.
Bertie- Well it looks nice. Perhaps I should get my hair styled the same way.
Raven- Your praise is lessened by the fact that it comes from an unwashed knave.
Annie- Oh Bertie, did you finish that math homework?
Bertie- Yeah, but it took me all night. Did you finish Annie?
Annie- No. Did you finish the homework Raven?
Raven- You dare ask that question of a member of MENSA? Yes, of course I did.
Bertie- Raven, maybe you could give Annie the answers to the homework.
Raven- So let me get this straight, not only do you have the intelligence of a common household mop, you have the moral fortitude of a politician! No, I will not give Annie the answers to the homework you muck covered swine.
Annie- Oh well, it’s my fault for not saying attention in class. Getting an F is going to be so bad.
Raven- Getting an F is nothing compared to facing off against me in a Clockwork Orange House Of Fun Match.
Annie- yeah, you’re right Raven. You always know what to say to lift my spirits.
The bell rings for class.
Bertie- Well, that’s the bell for class to start. See ya Annie.
Annie- See ya Raven.
Raven- Quote the Raven, nevermore!
Bertie, Annie, and Raven dart off in different directions as the scene ends.

END SCENE

****- Shocking Retirement Trailer During Tosh.0

Inspiration From Tosh.0

There’s a large part of me that is envious of people who can draw. I look at the work of people like Neil Gaiman, Alecos Popadatos, and TheNintendoTheory and wonder why I can’t do that. Perhaps I lack the patience, perhaps I lack the skill, perhaps I lack the artistic vision but I simply can’t draw to save my life. I can craft a pretty good story, I seem to have the patience for that, but drawing fails me.

I should probably develop the skill to draw, if only so I won’t have to contract my book covers when I do start getting published. Or perhaps I should develop skills as a psychic. Then I could get away with crap like this.




No-More (Really? A Pun? Really?)

On March 10th, All-Star shortshop Normar Garciaparra officially announced his retirement from professional baseball. When asked what he plans to do with his time, Mr. Garciaparra said, “I’m going home to fuck my wife, Mia Hamm.”




My Video Game Diary- 3/10/10

Final Fantasy games are what I cut my teeth on as a gamer. Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy VII, and Final Fantasy X still rank among my favorite games. There was a time where I owned every Final Fantasy game released in North America. Hell, I bought a PS3 three years ago to play Final Fantasy XIII. So, in keeping with my Final Fantasy fandom, I spent Tuesday, March 9th playing the beta for Blur.

Blur is such a blast. It’s like Need For Speed: Underground with elements of Mario Kart if it was done well. The races in Blur are fast, competitive, and filled with action and explosions.

I do plan on starting Final Fantasy XIII soon, assuming I don’t get distracted by another exploding game, but for the rest of this week I’m playing Blur.



Tulsa Who?

On March 10th, Olympic sprinter Marion Jones announced that she had signed with the Tulsa Shock of the WNBA. Miss Jones said of her motivation to play professional basketball, “I needed money to afford another cycle of The Clear.”



My Video Game Diary 3/11/10

Wait- Blur is an Activison game? Damnit! After the Infinity Ward incident I vowed to boycott all Activision products until the lawsuits are settled! Final Fantasy XIII, here I come!




You Will Die Trailer

My beta key for Blur came courtesy of DerrickH of Dead Pixel Live. Here is a game he made that is available right now on the Xbox Live Indie Game service. Enjoy!

****- Heavy Rain Emerges With A Giant Evil Penis

Complete Heavy Rain Review



Heavy Rain First Impressions

I bought Heavy Rain on the day it was released. The first thing I needed to do upon putting Heavy Rain into my PS3 and starting it up was to download an update. If this was a 360 game and I was dealing with Live, this process would have taken just a couple of minutes. Unfortunately this was a PS3 game and I was dealing with PSN.

The first time I tried to download this update the download started but stopped and didn’t get started again for seemingly no reason at all. The second time it stalled before even starting the download for, again, seemingly no reason at all. The third time the download started and kept on going, but the speed at which it was downloading was unacceptable. I was able to watch an entire episode of The Dish in the time it took to download the update.

Once the update was downloaded the next thing to do was install Heavy Rain to the PS3’s hard drive. Unlike other games where they give you a progress bar or Old Snake to look at, Heavy Rain actually gives you something to do.

Included in the package with Heavy Rain is this square piece of paper. During the installation process, you are given instructions on how to turn this piece of paper into this.

By the time you are finished crafting this piece of origami, the installation should be complete.

This whole process, infuriating at first and somewhat rewarding at the end, took about an hour. An hour I could have spent playing the game. Let’s just hope the actual playing of Heavy Rain offers more rewards than just a paper artform to put next to my Modern Warfare 2 night vision goggles.



Shawn

I remember happier times with my dad. In the backyard playing helicopter and airplane with him and my brother. Watching him draw buildings that people could live and play in. Even him comforting me as I mourned the loss of my pet bird are things that I look back on fondly now.

After the accident that took my brother away, my dad never seemingly got up. He looks depressed, isn’t maintaining himself the way he used to, and even walks around like he doesn’t quite have a handle on how to do so fluidly. He doesn’t even eat well, not that the microwaved chicken is anything to salivate over.

I know he means well, I can see the remorse for his failings in his eyes as he tucks me in at night. Perhaps one day he will pick himself up and find a way out of this perpetual downpour. At least then he might shave off that short scruffily beard he’s grown.




Heavy Rain Second Impressions

Video games tend to follow a similar basic structure: Level, level, boss, level, level, bigger boss, level, level, bigger boss, level, boss, bigger boss, final boss. Nearly every video game does this. Mario, Metroid, Mega Man, Zelda, Metal Gear, Final Fantasy, World of Warcraft, and on and on and on.

Before its release, Heavy Rain was talked about not being a video game. I don’t know why this is because Heavy Rain follows basic video game structure, it’s just presented differently. Inner monologue, dialog between characters, fight scene, discovery of a plot point, discussion of the plot point, fight scene, character development, plot development, fight scene.

I’m not saying that this is a bad thing. This kind of basic video game structure can produce a challenging and compelling video game experience, if it is done well. Heavy Rain appears to be utilizing this structure very well, so far…



Heavy Rain Review

Among the shows that I watch on a regular basis are Rescue Me, Burn Notice, Skins, and Mad Men. These are dramas with deep rich characters, multiple slow developing plot lines, and performances that are nothing short of brilliant. These shows stimulate a part of my brain that craves smart, funny, romantic, and, most importantly, adult entertainment. These are shows that I would have found absolutely dull as a teenager. I look back at the shows I watched as a young teen, compare them to the shows I watch now, and marvel at how much different they are. I'm truly embarrassed by that which used to entertain me compared to what now entertain me.

Heavy Rain is the kind of entertainment I would have found dull when I was a teenager but find enthralling now. Exposition about how they feel about minor things in their environment, subtle facial ticks that give away true feelings about someone or something, and contextual swearing all serve to create a deep and compelling narrative for those mature enough to appreciate it. If you're not mature enough yet, Heavy Rain can serve to teach you about what storycraft is.

Heavy Rain: A



Is That A Giant Penis Float?

Kawasaki Fertility Festival 2009 from Alexander kubalsky on Vimeo.





A New Evil Empire Emerges

Amid the devastating earthquake in Chile, the ongoing healthcare debate, and the hype surrounding Quantic Dream’s Heavy Rain, one story went unreported this week in the general media. A tactical military strike took place on several military bases in the South American country of French Guiana on Tuesday, March 2nd. As previously reported on The Four Stars Blog, French Guiana is the headquarters for the military wing of Electronic Arts.

Previously the EA Army has butted heads with the Church Of Scientology’s Sea Org. In the days following the military strikes, speculation was that this attack was a first strike by the Sea Org against the EA Army. This speculation disappeared after a post on Megalomaniacal.com was made public. This post was attributed to Bobby Kotick.

The post reads as follows:

“The military strikes carried out in French Guiana on Tuesday were not the acts of the Sea Org, the US Military, or even god. These attacks were carried out by The Great Empire of Activision. The Great Empire of Activision is asserting its dominance in all things in all ways. Anyone that stands in the way of The Great Empire will be crushed. We easily destroyed a part of ourselves, don’t think we won’t do the same to you. Quote the Kotec, nevermore.”

There has been no response from Electronic Arts to Activision’s attack on their military headquarters in French Guiana. This was to be expected as EA has never publically acknowledged the EA Army. No one knows what the next move will be from The Great Empire of Activison, although the presence of a panel truck with the Tony hawk Ride logo on it sitting outside the offices of the Redertainment Corporation of America does concern me.